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Christmas gift
JenG
57 Posts
Hey all,

Mom passed away early early Christmas morning. Just made it over 94, but fell her way into it, so she was a bit beat up.

Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer in November of 2018. She started with immunotherapy and a year later switched to a light chemo treatment. Eventually the cancer spread to her brain and messed with her independent and strong mind.

Although the plan was to go to hospice when she became bedridden (which was two days after the falls), we opted
to keep her at home. With Covid, and the realization on my part that I would be there mostly on my own, we kept her comfortable with medications and music and visits from family.

I have so many thoughts to share about caregiving and ideas for doing it well, but I’ll save those for another post.

Mom loved a good drink of scotch or gin, a nice dry white or red, and the odd pint of something with character, so if you’d like to raise your next glass in her honour, I’d love it.

Thanks all. Take care of each other. Love you Mom.

jen
15 Replies
beehime
28 Posts

@JenG

My sympathies 😞

I’m sure she must have been happy to spend time with you at home.

I’ll gladly raise my next glass to her. 🍷

Brighty
8197 Posts

@JenG please accept my deepest condolences in the loss of your beloved mom. You were such a loving and devoted daughter to her and she was so lucky to have you. Hope you can find comfort in the beautiful memories you had with her. Dont hesitate to join ‘coping with grief ’ on the site. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing .

supersu
727 Posts

oh @JenG

thank you so much for sharing this last chapter of your moms story with us.

please accept my sincere condolences to you, your family and all those who loved her. she sounds like a heck of a feisty gal.

I will indeed raise a toast to her, AND to you!
I'm sure the apple doesnt fall far from the tree.

cheers & gentle hugs,
su

#finalchapters #cheers #caregiversareANGELSonearth #lungcancer #feisty

Trillium
1763 Posts

Dear @JenG - sorry to read about your loss of your mom. She must have been so filled with gratitude to have you as her daughter there with her and taking such loving care of her at the end of her life.
May you find some peace in your grief.

Warmest of hugs for you today❣️

61b19818251a4e29bdf92b6c44c2386d-huge-db
Faye
249 Posts

@JenG

My sincere condolences on the loss of your mom. That final goodbye to our moms is never easy.

I want to commend you and your family for the care you have given your mom. Keeping her at home, although not necessary easy, was the greatest gift you will have ever given her.
Our family kept our dad at home ( he had been in hospital after a fall but when he said” just take me home to my house “ ) we made the decision to try.
It was exhausting but it is the best decision I ever made and one that I have no regrets for. I knew We had done everything we could and he died at peace and I was at peace.

Essjay
1731 Posts

@JenG so sorry for your loss xx

What a gift you gave your Mom at the end to be with family, loved and cared for.

Wishing you well xx

law1
645 Posts

Thoughts of love and remembrances to you and your Mom, @JenG . She sounds like she was a gal after my own heart: strong minded, independent, lover of gin….I raise my glass to her!!! 🍸

Sorry to hear @JenG

Your Mom was so blessed to have you.

Be gentle with yourself,

Lacey

@JenG

So glad you were able to spend that final time in a way that rewarded you and honoured your mother's wishes. The loss of that strength in your life will be hard but golly 94 is a good ripe life.

Angus

S2020
976 Posts

@JenG, my sincerest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. I could hear your love for her in your posts. You sounded very devoted and committed to providing optimal care for your mother. I am glad she had your loving care and compassion. Thinking about you as you remember your mother.

Cynthia Mac
3575 Posts
JenG‍ My condolences to you and your family. I’m sure I’ve a bit of The Glenlivet here and would be honoured to raise a glass to your ma.

By all means, once you have the necessary arrangements done and things settle down for you a bit, please do come back and share any caregiving tips you have. All are welcome!
CentralAB
1163 Posts

@JenG I am sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. I was happy to see that she had such a devoted caregiver as you were. Its hard to lose a parent, but when that kind of love is in the picture, the grief does get easier. I lost my Dad to Leukemia, my late wife to ovarian cancer. What helps me the most is gratitude. For all the things I did right, and for the ways that the people closest to me, but who have died, have blessed me. I hope you will go easy on yourself. Ask for help if needed. Let us know how you are doing when you can.

@JenG - I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I can imagine the holidays have been very difficult for you and your family.

How are you holding up today?

Hugs

Lianne

JenG
57 Posts

Thank you @Lianne_Moderator. It is a ‘today’ thing, isn't it? Today is a mixed bag. Mostly okay but still so tired. So I'm trying to take it easy and not overload myself with too much.

J

@JenG - it is a today thing for sure. Sometimes it may also be an hour thing.

Taking it easy and resting is good for any of us for just about anything.

Keeping you in my thoughts in the days and weeks ahead.

Lianne

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