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TinkGoof
3 Posts
Hello. I am new here. I am a caregiver to my husband who's diagnosed with Colon Cancer in Mar 2021 at the age to 45. I joined this group to get a support emotionally and to share my (my family) journey.
9 Replies
Brighty
6765 Posts
Welcome TinkGoof‍ . So sorry for what brings you here. I was a caregiver to my fiance who had stage 4 esophageal cancer. ..similar age bracket. . Please ask me anything you want....we have colon cancer discussions under 'forums''cancer types'and 'colon cancer ' as well as many caregiver discussions where caregivers give their best coping tips. Does your husband have a treatment plan yet?how are you both coping so far? Please keep.in touch..we are here to support you.
TinkGoof
3 Posts

@Bright. thank you for your kind words and I hope that you and your Fiance are keeping well. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer and now has gone 3 sessions of Chemo. We are both in good spirits and so as our 2 daughters (ages 16 & 11). He had a few meltdowns and I am just learning how to help him to cope with it. I am so glad that this group does exist and I will definitely keep in touch.

Brighty
6765 Posts
TinkGoof‍ hi again. Glad everyone is in good spirits. I learned (and it took a lot of time and fighting and nagging) the best way to help my fiance cope was to take his lead.....if he wants to talk about cancer talk about it...if he wants a break from it,then just about regular every things. Spend time together, doing things you both like to do together. Just basically be there, without hovering or nagging. (I did both and it didnt go over well) . Try to keep things 'normal 'whenever possible. Is he open to seeing the oncology social worker? Mine was not... but I saw the social worker because I couldn't cope . Dont forget to take time for yourself too. How are the kids coping? They may want to reach out to the school guidance counselor. Do you have any practical help in terms of meals,cleaning, kids homework, etc? Let us know what you need to get through this and we will try out best to find resources and support .
Whitelilies
1073 Posts
TinkGoof‍ Hello and welcome to our caring community.....I am sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis...emotions can be all over the map.....and March is so very recent. You have found a caring groups of people, ready to support and listen and more.
I too am on the Colon Cancer journey. (from Ontario too !)
I was treated at Sunnybrook & NYGH.
How is he doing?
How are you doing?
How are you girls doing?
(My sons are 22, and 20) a bit older......
Perhaps once you catch your breath......please have a look at:
www.CCRAN.org
and reach Filomena or Frank
They are a wealth of knowledge !! and skills and more.....they can update you/your husband on clinical trials, meds, side effects, diets, support groups- 1 sunday aft per month- and more.....Filomena held my hand, many-a-time......They are better than any Nurse I ever talked with......Please: Reach out to them.....

If you have any questions, just post...and we will respond.......Take time for yourself too; even a daily walk.....daily cup of lemonade with ice......just "be".....
Regards
Whitelilies
Whitelilies
1073 Posts
TinkGoof‍ Hello (again).....I would like to introduce you to:
RBION HollieSammie59
These folks, are on the same path, and I wish to say thank you, if you could share your experiences, with our new member.....much appreciation.

You are not alone......

Regards
Whitelilies
Hollie
71 Posts
Hi Whitelilies,

Thank you for introducing the people who are on the same path.

I appreciate your support.

Hollie
RBION
18 Posts
Welcome TinkGoof‍, you've found a great source of supporters and cheerleaders here at CancerConnections. Although my husband is older - he's 60 - he was also diagnosed with stage iv colon cancer not too long ago. At the end of August 2020 he went to emerg thinking he had appendicitis but the doctors found something quite different. We started down the path of oncology appointments and treatments and for me, the endless need to research and ask questions to try and grasp what was happening and what our future might look like. Like other caregivers, I just want to do everything I can for my partner. I found the discussions, stories and shared experiences on this site so incredibly helpful. And best of all (and you'll read this often), it's a SAFE place to share. You can be sad, happy, frustrated, overwhelmed....whatever you're feeling, whatever you need to talk about, you will find compassion and empathy and often humour to get you through. And if you just want to read and lay low, that's okay too. I'd be happy to share more about my/our experiences any time.
Cynthia Mac
3194 Posts
TinkGoof‍ I’m sorry to hear of your circumstances but very happy that you’ve found this helpful community.

Being here for just over 3 years now, I’ve noticed an “uptick” in the number of younger people (younger than the routine screening age) diagnosed with colon cancer, and a good friend of mine went through this with one of her offspring a couple years ago. I hope fervently that somewhere the PTB (powers that be) are keeping track of this and will consider adjusting the age to start screening.

I was caregiver for my father, who had lung cancer, so if there’s any way I can help you navigate any of this, just reach out.
Faith1
511 Posts
Hi brighty, nisa and vic777

nisa-

glad your weekend was less dramatic! Glad you like to pics I put on. Yes, my cats love to be brushed especially Rosalee. They purr and it helps them to relax and feel loved. But because Bailey was older when I got him, I first used treats as an incentive I would let him sniff the treat, brush him for like a minute and than give it to him. Then I started stretching out the time, all the while talking calmly to him etc..It worked really well and now he enjoys it. You just may need to get your cat an anti-anxiety medication if you want to take her to the vet. Just think of it a lorazepam for a scary trip!! LOL Three years in a hoarder house of 126 other cats!! No wonder the poor kitty has issues!! PSW jobs are physically demanding and can be exhausting!! I hope you find something else soon. The picture I put for my profile is also a rock I painted. I was going to put a pic of me, but waiting for my hair to get a little longer! LOL I am really enjoying my physio.I feel like I am getting a little stronger. The exercises I do at home still hurt, but hopefully in another month or so it will be better. I am going to contact my doctor to get a referral to a plastic surgeon ( specializes in breast )to discuss if he can fix the " leftover skin" the surgeon left behind, especially under my right arm!! I hope it will be covered by ohip etc.. just looking into it and thinking of having it done next summer if I hear what I want to hear about getting it done. I'm not sure I will get it done if it will cause more nerve damage!!

brighty-

So...Vinnie is having fun at granny's's house with all the space, but you're not!! LOL Happy that it didn't make Vinnie anxious or stressed.How long will it take them? Once I was out of my parents house, I could not believe how different things were. My mom like yours, was a " neat freak" and had OCD. Now I was like her for a few years, but now I leave my dishes until the next morning etc.. I am more relaxed and try to enjoy life more. My husband leaves things lying around and doesn't pick up after himself but I politely ask him to remember to do things. His mother used to do everything for her kids and they were never expected to do chores or laundry etc... His mother once told me this. She said with 5 children it was just easier to not get into it. LOL I get a little nervous when my husband goes in and out of our house too. The screen door closes slowly and they could run out in a blink of an eye! Well it took me a long time to read the posts I missed yersterday, and respond. I need to clean my fridge and do stretches and ride my bike still. I had a friend over for a visit this morning outside.

vic777-
Still thinking of you 💜 hope to hear from you soon!
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