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Looking for support

Looking for support

Posted by Dev on Sep 24, 2020 10:48 pm

My mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer last month. I am 22 and recently engaged. I have a sister who is 24 and our mom is only 55. I have no idea how to get through this or how to help my mom get through this. 

Re: Looking for support

Posted by MWI on Sep 24, 2020 11:10 pm

I am very sorry for your family Dev‍ . No doubt it is a hard time but be optimistic.  Miracles happen. Plz do believe on prayers and ask God to help your family out of this crises. Do spend more time with your mom, do family or friends get together with covid protocols ofcourse. Make present beautiful and hope best for future. 
I am 38 and was diagnosed stage 3 breast cancer. I do have 3 young kids, little one is 2. Since my diagnosis I never think negatively. Though it is hard to stay positive but u have no choice.  If your mom is really upset then u guys need to be strong. You can connect to social worker through the hospital. 
Give my love to ur mom. I will do prayer for her. 

Re: Looking for support

Posted by Brighty on Sep 25, 2020 6:59 am

I'm so sorry Dev‍ .     There's was new  member  who logged  on yesterday  whose mom was also diagnosed thst I'm hoping you can connect with.   Notsoyougnchildseekingsupport‍ .      Please seek support where ever you can get it from.    You don't have to be alone.   For your mom... just be there... follow her lead... see what she needs and get someone  to help you and divide tasks.    Spend quality  time with her.      Share with her.. recipies,  pictures,  books, music.. anecdotes. ....and share your feelings , fears,...be honest and open .   Communication is key.      How is your family coping? Is there a treatment  plan in place? Please make sure you are taking care of yourself.    If you have any more questions  or need more  information  don't  hesitate  to ask.    If you need to cry.. have a good cry.    You are allowed to feel however you need to feel.     You are not alone.     
 
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Looking for support

Posted by Essjay on Sep 25, 2020 8:00 am

Dev‍ I’m sorry for what brings you to Cancer Connection. There is nothing so hard as seeing someone you love deal with advanced cancer. How do you deal with it? Just one day at a time...

Cancer care in Canada is good, and it’s fairly well integrated, which does mean things happen quickly when it needs to but that also patients have access to the services they need. Your Moms cancer centre will have a ‘nurse navigator’ who will be a useful person to her and your family - I encourage you to seek them out and find out what is available for you.

Is your Mom in treatment? 

Do you have other family? Does your Mom have a circle of friends? The way you get through this is to reach out and get them all helping. There may be practical stuff like ride to the hospital, shopping for groceries (click and collect is really helpful there), cleaning the house, but also the social side - people dropping by to spend time with your Mom and keep her company. COVID adds a complication, but with a few precautions it’s still possible to be sociable. The virtual tools really help too - best thing I did for my parents was to get them an Amazon Echo, which means at the sound of her voice my mom can video chat with me.

Has anyone mentioned palliative care to your Mom? Palliative care teams support patients and their families through cancer with things like pain management and the psychological challenges of dealing with a diagnosis. You can find out what is near you by calling the CCS info service on 1-888-939-3333. Or you can check out https://www.canada.ca/en/health-Canada/services/palliative-care.html

And I encourage you to seek supports in coping with grief and what you are dealing with from https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home.aspx

Please know that there’s a whole crowd online in your corner, there with virtual hugs and who will reply whenever you reach out.

Best wishes Essjay
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: Looking for support

Posted by Lianne_Moderato on Oct 14, 2020 2:47 pm

Dev‍ 

Just checking in to see how you and your family are managing?

Thinking of you

Lianne