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The day came.

The day came.

Posted by Clover4 on Jul 24, 2020 7:09 pm

My guy passed.

Shock.

It was a quick and extremely emotional 3 months.

Still very numb and now walking around in the Twilight Zone.

I am at peace that he did not suffer any pain and it was a peaceful transition

I hate this next chapter the most though. 
What now? How does the future look?

Another rollercoaster just pulled up and said "get on".

So tired and still so much work to do.
Loss #5. Praying that I get a break now. These Tsunamis get harder and harder to recover from.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
 

Re: The day came.

Posted by Laika57 on Jul 24, 2020 7:14 pm

Clover4‍  So sorry for your loss. It's a terrible time to be caring for and losing someone. Not that there ever is a good time...
wishing you a bunch of strength.

Karin
Have you hugged your dog today?

Re: The day came.

Posted by Brighty on Jul 24, 2020 7:22 pm

Clover4‍  I'm so sorry for your loss.   You are always welcome  here to lean on us for support  any time.  
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: The day came.

Posted by Trillium on Jul 24, 2020 9:07 pm

Dear Clover4‍ ‍ 
Im so sorry for the loss of your guy. Sorry you have had so many hard losses and I hope you find some peace in the near future.

Hugs to you during this very difficult time 
 

Re: The day came.

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jul 24, 2020 9:41 pm

Clover4‍  I am so sorry for your loss. I remember the feeling of shock and emptiness.  Do you have family or friends who you can talk to? We are here for you. 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: The day came.

Posted by piratecat on Jul 25, 2020 2:13 am

Clover4,

I’m so sorry. Sending you all my love.

Jen

 

Re: The day came.

Posted by Samiam on Jul 25, 2020 9:11 am

Clover4‍  I am so sorry to hear of your guys passing but glad it was peaceful. 
You've had more than your share and the limits of our inner strength is amazing. 
if you need an ear dont hesitate to reach out. 
stay strong and take time for you. 
Sandy. 

Re: The day came.

Posted by Whitelilies on Jul 25, 2020 9:33 am

Clover4‍ I am so sorry for your loss.
Hold on to wonderful memories.
Take time to grieve.
The "future" will unfold.....don't put energy right now in to that.....just take today as it comes.....deep breaths....
And KNOW that peace arrived.
Your healing begins now.

Sending strength,
Whitelilies

Lillian

Re: The day came.

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jul 25, 2020 10:26 am

Clover4‍ , I am sorry to hear your news.

There are areas here on the site aimed at helping you through this next “ride.” You won’t have to do it alone.

I will hope for you that this will be the last tsunami for a while, too.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: The day came.

Posted by starshine1ca on Jul 25, 2020 10:32 am

I am sooo very sorry to hear of your great loss.  Yes, I bet you are in shock.  Your body is probably full of adrenalin right now.  I found out that massages will help to get rid of the excess adrenalin that lingers in your body.  I lost my husband 15 years ago and understand the pain and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you also.  I am praying that you have lots of support to help you through this around you.  You need support through the next while to help you through all the things you have to take care of.  God bless you and keep you safe through this.  

Sincerely Anita 

Re: The day came.

Posted by Essjay on Jul 25, 2020 8:38 pm

Clover4‍ so sorry to hear this. Sending love.Essjay xx
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: The day came.

Posted by CentralAB on Jul 26, 2020 10:04 am

Hello Clover4‍ I am sorry to hear of your guy dying. I know from experience that even when we expect it, it still surprises and shocks us when it actually happens. I hope you will find ways now to look after your self and tend to all those things that still need doing. It sounds like you had a roler coaster for the last few months. Time now to sow yourself down, work at whatever pace is more comfortable for you. At first, everything will seem strange, like you are in the land of Oz or something, you may experience trouble eating or sleeping, or just not know what to do even though there are a zillion things to tend to. All this is a "normal" part of the grief process. I thought of two topics here that may be of help/interest to you in your personal grief journey:

Caregivers Who lose Their Spouse To Cancer

What Next?

I hope you will stay in touch with us here from time to time when you can, when you have energy. We are here for you.

Clover4:
My guy passed.

Shock.

It was a quick and extremely emotional 3 months.

Still very numb and now walking around in the Twilight Zone.

I am at peace that he did not suffer any pain and it was a peaceful transition

I hate this next chapter the most though. 
What now? How does the future look?

Another rollercoaster just pulled up and said "get on".

So tired and still so much work to do.
Loss #5. Praying that I get a break now. These Tsunamis get harder and harder to recover from.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
 

 
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: The day came.

Posted by Chocoholic on Jul 27, 2020 6:35 pm

Thinking of you. Sending love and hugs. Be good to yourself every step of the way.

Re: The day came.

Posted by orchid*lover* on Jul 28, 2020 12:01 pm

Biggest of hugs Clover4‍ ❤️❤️❤️

Re: The day came.

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Jul 28, 2020 12:58 pm

Clover4‍ 

Sorry to hear the news. If you think it would be helpful we have a Coping with Grief group here.

Beautiful words "We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun". wishing you better seasons ahead.

Lacey

Re: The day came.

Posted by Dot75 on Jul 29, 2020 10:40 am

Clover4‍ i am so sorry for your recent loss!  So many of us are here on the journey of loss, with you!  We all have our special moments to sustain us.  When you are ready we are here waiting and helping each other with a listening ear.  The coping with grief site is excellent.  Take one day at a time.  It was a four month journey for me soooo quick and yet still unexpected as you are never ready for the final day!  Dot75

Re: The day came.

Posted by Clover4 on Jul 29, 2020 11:09 pm

Thank you all so much ❤ 

It has been a rocky week - all over the map emotionally.

I was reminded today to "slow down" as being present/mindfull doesn't come easy when I feel stress.

I haven't even started grieving because worry took over.

Accepting help and leaning on others is also foreign to me as I have been hardwired as a caregiver for so long now - but I must try.

I do hate the depression though - It is the worst emotion for me. I had a few really low days and it's so hard to accept as "normal"

Surreal and twilight zone are the two descriptions I use most.

Praying for a good sleep tonight 🙏

Re: The day came.

Posted by MCoaster on Jul 29, 2020 11:47 pm

Clover4‍   I am sorry to hear your news.  You must feel so tired and hurt.  Perhaps go to place which was special to you both and think your loving thoughts to him.

Warm  hugs.

MCoaster

Re: The day came.

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Aug 1, 2020 8:53 am

Clover4‍ , The problem with worry is that it robs us of the present moment.

Is there someone  you can reach out to to talk about your worries? (You can pm me, if you want to talk to someone who’s at ‘arm’s length.”)

Depression IS a tough nut to crack, and I encourage you not to think of it as “normal.” Ever. I really suspect that in this case, your depression is temporary, even if “temporary” lasts a few months. It might help you to know that depressing thoughts can be changed, just as worrisome thoughts can be changed. It can be hard to achieve, but those small “shifts” come from within, and you have the power to make them.

The first couple of weeks after a loss can cause many emotions. A good friend who is also here on this site says we can give ourselves the opportunity to “feel the feels” and then we can move on to the next feeling. Surreal is an accurate description, for sure.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying