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What Next?

Re: What Next?

Posted by Brighty on May 31, 2020 4:35 pm

Thank you for sharing  with us CentralAB‍ . I like 'seeing'you in better spirits!!!
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on May 31, 2020 5:06 pm

Thank you. Thats part of "What Next," IMHO.

Brighty:
Thank you for sharing  with us CentralAB‍ . I like 'seeing'you in better spirits!!!

 
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jun 1, 2020 8:47 am

CentralAB‍ , it’s gratifying to hear that your spirit is feeling somewhat restored. Keep up the good work!

I meditated yesterday morning, and finished digging over this garden. Afterward, the male cardinal flew down, bounced along the brickwork, and poked around in behind the petunias. Apparently Grandma was checking my work!

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“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Jun 1, 2020 6:55 pm

I hope "Grandma" gave you a good review! What a beautiful backyard you have to work in! I really miss those Cardinals! I have fond memories of them from when I was a kid in southern Ontario. Here is my latest production - well, one of them...

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Cynthia Mac:
CentralAB‍ , it’s gratifying to hear that your spirit is feeling somewhat restored. Keep up the good work!

I meditated yesterday morning, and finished digging over this garden. Afterward, the male cardinal flew down, bounced along the brickwork, and poked around in behind the petunias. Apparently Grandma was checking my work!

7215d73bed8c3a5db0037b9f5d698967-huge-33
 

 
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by SpeedyStill on Jun 1, 2020 8:20 pm

CentralAB‍ 
Cynthia Mac‍ 
How many words can a picture say?
Love them.
Speedystill 

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Sep 13, 2020 1:19 am

I was thinking about this topic today while I was out in the wilderness, and thought I should give a brief update re "What Next?" I have certainly made some excellent progress, and am starting to enjoy life again.

Today I went to a remote place, only accessible by 4WD, and the last km was a really challenging hike - for me anyways. I had to park my vehicle where the trail head ended, and the sign said "no motorized vehicles." It was a really difficult hike in for that last km. very steep, rugged terrain.

I went to a place called Ogre Canyon, and check out this rock I had to climb to get right into the canyon!

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After I scaled over that rock using the rope you see in the pic, this is some of what I saw:

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It was a really great sense of accomplishment  for me after all I have been through the last few years. I hope & pray that by my sharing this, others will be inspired to be their best, in loving memory of their lost loved ones. 😀
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by Nicky01 on Sep 14, 2020 5:51 am

CentralAB‍ Thank you for all the beautiful photos you’re sharing, I am very happy to hear you're starting to enjoy life again. I can only imagine how hard it must be to loose a life long spouse and I am sorry about your loss. Just know that whatever you keep sharing with everybody it is helping someone somewhere....I know it’s helping me it was nice having a coffee this morning and reading about your adventure and looking at those relaxing beautiful photos.
Resilience! Today is a new day...I will make the most of it!! Nicky

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Sep 28, 2020 6:45 pm

I appreciate your comment here Nicky01‍ . To be honest, that enjoyment again comes and goes. Part of the "What's Next" for me is taking care of the personal effects. I have a huge box of her boots and shoes here, and just today, I found a home for them. They are really nice boots and shoes, she liked to dress well. But now I am worried about "Can I take them over to the women's shelter here in town, without balling my head off like a fool?"  But its such an appropriate place to take them as she was a social worker at a womens shelter in a big city here in Alberta for years. I never thought that giving her boots and shoes away would be so emotional. Whats Next?

Nicky01:
CentralAB‍ Thank you for all the beautiful photos you’re sharing, I am very happy to hear you're starting to enjoy life again. I can only imagine how hard it must be to loose a life long spouse and I am sorry about your loss. Just know that whatever you keep sharing with everybody it is helping someone somewhere....I know it’s helping me it was nice having a coffee this morning and reading about your adventure and looking at those relaxing beautiful photos.

 
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by Nicky01 on Sep 28, 2020 7:58 pm

CentralAB‍ 

No matter what all anyone can do is take it one day at a time, one little step at a time. Maybe not quite your situation but I remember when my dad passed away in 2010 my husband and I were living on Vancouver Island and I spent one month with my mom who was living near Ottawa to help her with whatever she needed. I remember her asking me to go through dad’s paper and to destroy anything that was not needed and to this day I still vividly remember sitting in his office with the paper shredder and crying my eyes out because I felt like I was erasing my dad from my life like he never existed, I was torn inside because after that I knew it would be his clothes so I think I have a little idea how taking care of your wife’s personal effects is stirring some emotions and feelings so of course it is normal that it would be emotional for you to do so, it is all part of the grieving process.

What’s next could be to just enjoy and appreciate the good days so it will be easier to to deal with the not so good days and keep sharing with all of us your beautiful photos and whatever you feel like sharing!

Resilience! Today is a new day...I will make the most of it!! Nicky

Re: What Next?

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Sep 28, 2020 8:08 pm

CentralAB‍ , Call the women’s shelter first. The one in my town won’t allow men onto the property without being properly vetted. It might be in everyone’s best interest to see if they would like to have someone come and get the items. Again, the shelter in my town doesn’t take direct donations: they issue vouchers for Salvation Army so the women can go to a public space and select their own items.

Nicky01‍ , wow, yes, thank you for sharing that. My mom passed away 3 years ago, and at that time I couldn’t bear to part with her journals - which went back over 60 years. When Dad died this summer, I had to deal with them. The way I got through it was by taking the journal that led up to their marriage and my birth - it contained about 3 years’ worth of info. I took it home and I read it (and cried), and ultimately decided that it would be inappropriate to put this information into a public depository like an archives: it was just too personal, and it “named too many names.” I glanced through a couple of other years as well, and chatted with my sister about the one or two she read, and then we were able to let them go.

That being said, I have “reclaimed” several pairs of the handknit socks I made my Dad. He was my “sockworthy” guy.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Sep 28, 2020 9:05 pm

Cynthia Mac‍ Yes, good point. I did call them today and made arrangements. I told them a bit about our story and they can see me on security cam when I come to door, etc. I am aware of one shelter in southern Alberta that admits both men and women, and they are very careful about who they allow in.

Cynthia Mac:
CentralAB‍ , Call the women’s shelter first. The one in my town won’t allow men onto the property without being properly vetted. It might be in everyone’s best interest to see if they would like to have someone come and get the items. Again, the shelter in my town doesn’t take direct donations: they issue vouchers for Salvation Army so the women can go to a public space and select their own items.

________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Oct 2, 2020 1:38 am

Part of my personal "What's Next" story is of course photography. A sort of bittersweet part of my photography is photographing the night skies because my dear wife died on the night of a full moon. Now, every time I see a full moon,guess who I think of? My "Sweet Marie" and I had a very special spiritual tradition that we did every full moon together, and one time i even took her to a forest for that. We would always do a smudging ceremony together, and then (my favourite part) we would hold hands and pray together about releasing everything we were holding in. Half the time I would be so enamoured by the hand holding that i would forget what I said for my part of the prayer, but I always remember what she would do and how she made me feel every full moon. That last night we did this together in that forest, she sealed the prayer with a kiss, so of course, I was toast after that, and I would do whatever she said for days afterwards.  lol But tonight, in honour of who we were together, in honour of the special connection we had, I went to the top of my favourite mountain about 65 km from where I live now, and got a few pictures of the full moon/Harvest Moon. It was spectacular, to the nines. The picture is not as clear as I would prefer, but I had a little trouble seeing properly because there was a great flood of tears around that time. So this is all part of my "Waht's Next"

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Are there other caregivers or cancer patients here who could share a little bit of their "Whats Next?"
 
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by Brighty on Oct 2, 2020 7:37 am

Thank you for sharing those beautiful  memories  with us CentralAB‍ .   To be honest I still haven't quite figured out what is next for me.   Just sort of taking things day by day .   I don't really plan things any more because  plans just don't always go smoothly and I couldn't take another big blow like thst agsin.     Just kind of go with the daily flow  and what ever comes up comes up.     I can hear my parents voices in my head now 'you have to MAKE things happen instead of let them happen.     I've always  been a bit passive in that regard though.      Perhaps fear of failure and disappointment?  Not sure.     I'm kind of just a go with the flow person.   Not really a planner.     This is a good discussion.   
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: What Next?

Posted by Samiam on Oct 3, 2020 11:00 am

CentralAB‍  gorgeous photos! I hope nature continues to soothe your soul.(wild horses sound amazing not sure  they exist in Ontario). 
Your son sounds very thoughtful/understanding of what you've been through. And of course you seem strong, men are able to handle everything... right?
I have not been through this but my father in law has  and I've been his support, reach out when it helps, find support if your struggling and dont be afraid to go through the emotions. 
What's next? I hope nothing but all the very best of all you wish for. 
Sandy.
 

Re: What Next?

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Oct 3, 2020 3:57 pm

CentralAB‍ Thank you for showing your photo of the harvest moon. Here, it was obscured by cloud cover.  Because of the meaning of my name, I’m always in for a great moon pic! And, a good moon story, too. 
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Oct 4, 2020 12:49 am

Thank you Samiam‍  for the vote of confidence. I think you are right about wild horses in Ontario. I was born and raised in Southern Ontario and am pretty sure there are none there, unless there are a few way up north somewhere.

Cynthia Mac‍ You are welcome. I have a step sister who said it looked like a squished pancake, lol so that was a bit deflating. But we managed to chuckle together over that. None of my Harvest Moon pics turned out half as nice as I would have preferred, because I ended up crying away during that critical 10 minutes where one can get the shot so to speak. It brought in a flood of memories, because my wife died on the night of a full moon.

I guess the blessing in all of this is that I have met a special friend who is totally fine with talking about stuff like this, and that is something that really helps. THAT is what's next too, IMHO.
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Oct 4, 2020 2:07 am

Another What's Next for me is just getting out into the wilds and discovering history and culture for the Province of Alberta where I live. Earlier today, I was wandering in a remote area for some hiking and photography, when I came across this very old homestead cabin. This was initially owned by Ethan and Madeline Moberly when they decided to settle in this beautiful mountain meadow in the early 20th century. I couldn't resist getting my photo taken here by some passersby.

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The Metis who lived in The Upper Athabasca Valley had ties to Aboriginal lifestyles for fur trade, farming, railway construction, and guiding. Making trips to Fort Edmonton, and Lac St Anne, they managed to stay connected to the spiritual and cultural happenings of other Metis in the province of Alberta. They walked a path of two very different worlds, and managed to thrive very well in this harsh, mountain setting.

"There were six Indian families who settled and homesteaded in the upper Athabasca Valley during the 1800s, and into the early 1900s. Although the Government of Canada labelled these families as "Metis" the families themselves, as well as all those who knew them, referred to them only as the "Mountain People" or 'Asineewucheeweneewok.'" (quoted text  provided by the Upper Athabsca Valley Elder's Council).

________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: What Next?

Posted by CentralAB on Oct 5, 2020 1:19 am

Today, I had a wonderful excursion to a place called Hard Luck Canyon, here in northern Alberta. I am slowly gaining my strength back and am really happy to be able to have a good friend to go out and explore with me.

Here is a picture of "The Happy Hippie," (me) and "The Beautiful Tree Hugger," (my friend). IDT I could ever adequately describe with words just how wonderful it feels to be able to do this after all I have been through these last few years.

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Hard Luck Canyon itself is a gorgeous place to visit, and at first we were both wondering if we could even make it down into the canyon in one piece. (the older you get, the more you will understand that).

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I share this side of my personal life with people here, just because I want people to know that joy, happiness, and love again is possible after losing a loved one. There are many ways I am seeing this come true in my life. Thank you very much to everyone here who has been supporting and encouraging me along a sometimes very rocky path. This is all your fault. 😇 - Love & prayers, CentralAB
________________ "there is always a little Light"