Log in or Register to participate in these discussions

Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 24, 2019 9:30 pm

015ce35c3468e8a2c4d5f1de8f4d50de-huge-tr
Hello, and Happy Holidays to Caregivers. I thought I would start this topic for anyone who needs to connect and chat about the trials and blessings of this holiday period. It can be a hard, lonely climb for many caregivers this time of year. This year, I will be doing the cooking, and although Im not sure if my wife will be able to eat much of it; we are both looking forward to spending a quiet Christmas Day together. Even when she cannot eat what I cook, she enjoys the smells, sights, and sounds of David creating another one of his "miracles in the kitchen." We will hang on to the little things that give us a sense of peace and connections, and the rest we wont worry about.

How is your holiday unfolding this year? Please share anything you are comfortable with. I know I have had some years where I just wanted to hide during the holidays, but could not. Hopefully, we can touch base a bit here and compare notes.

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Brighty on Dec 24, 2019 9:51 pm

Hi  CentralAB‍  ! You are such a wonderful  husband  and your wife is so lucky she has such a gem of a guy.   It's my second holiday without my partner.   I miss him each each and every day.   I'm having a nice  holiday with my family  so far.       But he never far from my thoughts.     I decided I'm just going to feel whatever  I need to feel this holiday.    Not go by a list my therapist  gave me.    Although the list was great and really helped me get through  a lot of anniversaries I think maybe  the list kept me so occupied that it distracted me from grieving .      So I'm going to allow myself to feel whatever  I need to feel if need be.   If not , not.     Just kind of going with the flow this year and enjoying my time off work and spending  extra time with the kitty cat.     Hope you have a wonderful  Christmas  with your wife!!!  
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 24, 2019 10:33 pm

Thanks Brighty‍  lol, I hope I can live up to all that. I think that the hardest thing for me this year is knowing my elderly mother will be spending Christmas without her husband. They were married 42 years. I would be there now if I could...I know other caregivers have similar things going on. Its too bad that there isn't some way to help there.

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Brighty on Dec 24, 2019 10:39 pm

Oh gosh CentralAB‍  you have already lived up to all that and more!!!!  Does your mom have anyone to spend Christmas  with?   Any other family? 
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 24, 2019 11:17 pm

No other family within driving distance. Last year was really fun at Christmas. My wife was in the hospital over the holidays, and so I cooked a nice home made meal, complete with all the trimmings and dessert and all the favorite foods she liked, and I packed it all into a cooler and served Christmas dinner right there in her hospital room. Every year, something special happens!

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 25, 2019 8:16 am

I think it’s great, CentralAB‍ , that your wife enjoys the smells of Christmas, even if she can’t enjoy the food itself.

This year Dad (my “patient”) wasn’t happy with the fact that all the “women” spent Thanksgiving in the kitchen working while the “males” sat around watching, so he financed Swiss Chalet for Christmas. So, I’m relaxing this Christmas morning, watching White Christmas knowing all I have to do is reheat the food when I get it to Dad’s this afternoon!

I hope your Christmas is as simple or as complex as you want it to be!
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 25, 2019 1:01 pm

Cynthia Mac:
I think it’s great, CentralAB‍ , that your wife enjoys the smells of Christmas, even if she can’t enjoy the food itself.

This year Dad (my “patient”) wasn’t happy with the fact that all the “women” spent Thanksgiving in the kitchen working while the “males” sat around watching, so he financed Swiss Chalet for Christmas. So, I’m relaxing this Christmas morning, watching White Christmas knowing all I have to do is reheat the food when I get it to Dad’s this afternoon!

I hope your Christmas is as simple or as complex as you want it to be!

 
that sounds like an awesome idea your "patient" had! He sounds like a person I would enjoy meeting. Its great to see you will get to relax too!

I got this comment from someone in a christmas email note:
 

I hope your wife and you have a good Christmas time and it is great to see you guys are still together. I can remember last Christmas how you weren't sure you will still have her and another year has passed and you still have her.Seems you have been very blessed this year.

What a great christmas gift to get! And I certainly agree with what my friend said. Im doing all the heavy-hitting today, complete turkey dinner with all the trimmings! The whole house smells wonderful!

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Kuching on Dec 26, 2019 10:29 am

I wimped out on Christmas this year.  No family anywhere close by, and I turned down various invitations from kind neighbours - my husband isn’t eating enough to feed a mouse, and I wasn’t about to leave him home alone, also didn’t want to dampen the festivities for other people.  So I unplugged the phone and listened to the Kings College Cambridge carol service.  (Hey, I may be an atheist, but I can still enjoy good music.).  Decided I couldn’t handle “merry Christmas” phone calls, when it is anything but merry for the two of us (both diagnosed with terminal cancer this summer), so left the phone unplugged all day.  It was really peaceful, and turned out to be just what we needed.

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Dec 26, 2019 10:39 am

Kuching

I'm glad it was a peaceful day for you. That's what matters most. 

Take care, 
Lacey
​​​

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 27, 2019 7:22 am

CentralAB‍ , I think you would enjoy my Dad. He sure gets along well with anyone he meets in the health care system! And, he is a character, once you figure out his dry sense of humour.

Kuching‍ , I’m glad you had a peaceful Christmas. Do remember to plug the phone back in, though, so people don’t worry and start showing up at your door to check on you!
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 28, 2019 10:03 am

Kuching:
I wimped out on Christmas this year.  No family anywhere close by, and I turned down various invitations from kind neighbours - my husband isn’t eating enough to feed a mouse, and I wasn’t about to leave him home alone, also didn’t want to dampen the festivities for other people.  So I unplugged the phone and listened to the Kings College Cambridge carol service.  (Hey, I may be an atheist, but I can still enjoy good music.).  Decided I couldn’t handle “merry Christmas” phone calls, when it is anything but merry for the two of us (both diagnosed with terminal cancer this summer), so left the phone unplugged all day.  It was really peaceful, and turned out to be just what we needed.

 
Im glad you got just what you needed. I can understand the concern about dampening festivities for others. We have had years where that was a concern too. This year we had the opposite problem - not one "merry christmas phone call."  It feels like the world has forgotten us during most "holidays." I really liked your approach of shutting off the phone and listening to music you enjoy! Im going to copy that idea!

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 28, 2019 10:12 am

CentralAB:

Hello, and Happy Holidays to Caregivers. I thought I would start this topic for anyone who needs to connect and chat about the trials and blessings of this holiday period. It can be a hard, lonely climb for many caregivers this time of year.
How is your holiday unfolding this year? Please share anything you are comfortable with. I know I have had some years where I just wanted to hide during the holidays, but could not. Hopefully, we can touch base a bit here and compare notes.

I called this topic "Holiday Chit Chat" because of New Years as well. I seem to be able to "handle" Christmas not too bad, but the New Year Holiday seems to be harder. There are few "resolutions" for the primary caregiver to make because things are bound to be just as, or even more challenging. After the holidays, we will be going into year 5, so I guess for me the "resolutions will be 1) survive the "holiday"  2) dont run out of money this year  3) follow your heart in the coming year
 

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 29, 2019 8:32 am

CentralAB‍ , following your heart is good advice at any time of year, so thank you for the reminder! It’s especially important for caregivers - both for their “patient” and for self-care.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Holiday 2019 Chit Chat Thread

Posted by Elsie13 on Dec 30, 2019 4:55 pm

Kuching‍ I'm also an atheist who likes Christmas music.  Here's some music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b0QOsFAg0o  many may like : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHXVCqmbXzw&list=RDLHXVCqmbXzw&start_radio=1, ..............   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q3Lck1dneA&list=RD8q3Lck1dneA&start_radio=1 ............
In 2016: diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. Treatment: hysterectomy, chemo, radiation. Afterwards: No Evidence of Disease!