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Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Nov 7, 2019 8:52 am

Deb1313‍ I am sorry to hear about your mom and I hope you can or will get comfort in the knowing that you’ve done everything possible to help her.

I hope the doctors are able to keep her comfortable, and that you were able to get some rest last night to help you face today.

Thinking of you.

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Deb1313 on Nov 8, 2019 8:11 am

Mom is still hanging on but breathing is such a struggle. We are still in and Oncology ward and I should probably ask about being moved to Palliative care unit but I didn’t think I had to ask that.
i am not thinking to clearly right now. In addition to losing my mom -likely this week, I also lost my voice yesterday as well 10 lbs since Sunday (that’s not so bad). I am not sure where my voice went which is ok because I whisper to mom anyway.
Deb
 

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Nov 8, 2019 4:25 pm

Deb1313‍ 

Not often I watch a thread this closely but you and your mom have been much on my mind. I pray that things go well for you both.

Angus

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Deb1313 on Nov 8, 2019 6:22 pm

WestCoastSailor‍  Awww, thanks so much Angus. This is so funny because I too have told people about you and your story as well as how often I have seen you write so beautifully to so many people. I believe you to have a heart of gold!
As of an hour ago, Mom was moved to the Palliative Care ward. Happy to be here but sad too. I am happy because these are the experts and this is the best place for her. I am sad because when I saw her go through the doors to the ward, I thought of where she will be when she goes through them again and that is with my sister in Heaven who died a long time ago. She said to me that she can’t wait to see her Mom holding my sister at the door to Heaven. 
I will let everyone know when it is all over and the tears of a different kind start. I feel so sorry for my dad as much as he is such a difficult person. He has very very bad MS but he stood -not sat- by her bedside today for 2 hours to hold her hand. Quite a feat for him. He knows his life has changed in all ways now and forever. My mom was his caregiver and his only friend.  I know Angus that you can relate to that kind of pain.
i hope going forward, I can be of help to the next person who goes through this. This thread has been an incredible help even in the months that I only lurked and never posted much. I read about many many of you and prayed for
you as well.
For now,
Deb

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Rayline on Nov 9, 2019 12:09 am

Hi Deb, so glad to hear your Mom is in palliative care as they will take such good care of hear. And it is so sad too for you and your Dad. You are in my prayers.

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Runner Girl on Nov 9, 2019 7:54 am

Deb1313‍ ,

I'm glad your mom is getting the care she needs.  Keeping all of you in my prayers.

Runner Girl

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Nov 9, 2019 9:16 am

Deb1313‍ , I feel some of the sorrow you are feeling now, as you watch your Dad and Mom. It is not easy for you, and my heart goes out to you. It is good that they were able to get your Mom into palliative care. Thinking of you.

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Charles on Nov 9, 2019 5:47 pm

". . .   I should probably ask about being moved to Palliative care unit but I didn’t think I had to ask that."

PMFJI --

The bias of most doctors is cure, and life extension.   "Palliative care" -- to those docs -- is an admission that they've "failed", and they don't like to admit that.

. . . So they continue treatment, past the point that it makes any sense to the patient or the patient's family.

And some family members don't like the idea of palliative care, because it means accepting that their loved one is going to die.  Yet another reason for the docs to not mention it.

If you think that palliative care makes sense for your mother, you have to ask.  I have a lot of sympathy for you, and her -- it's not an easy conversation to have.

.    Charles 
 

 

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Deb1313 on Nov 10, 2019 4:30 am

Hi everyone,
Mom went to Heaven at 2:15 am. 💔💔💔

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Brighty on Nov 10, 2019 7:09 am

Deb1313‍  I'm so heartbroken for you.    Please accept my deepest condolences.         Don't hesitate  contiue leaning on us for support.     You are most welcome to join 'coping with grief '  on the site where we can support you as you go through  the greif process.   Hugs to you and your family.    We are thinking of you and praying for you to find peace.     

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Runner Girl on Nov 10, 2019 8:08 am

Deb1313‍ 

I am so very sorry.  My thoughts are with you and your family.  May your Mom be at peace.

Runner Girl

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Charles on Nov 11, 2019 4:17 am

My heart goes out to you.  

.      Charles
 

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Nov 11, 2019 12:28 pm

Deb1313‍ 

Sorry to hear of your Mom's passing.

You're in my thoughts, please reach out if you need anything.

Lacey

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Nov 11, 2019 6:25 pm

Deb1313‍ , deep sympathy to you and your family. 

We’re still here for you if you need us.

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Kims1961 on Nov 11, 2019 11:39 pm

Deb1313‍  Thank you for sharing. So very sorry to hear of your moms passing. Hope she has found peace .. Although it can be painful, she was lucky to have you with her for that last phase of life. It is an honour to be able to share these moments and for her to be surrounded by your love and care. 

We are here for you . Thinking of you and your family.  kim

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Essjay on Nov 12, 2019 7:26 am

Deb1313‍ so sorry to hear of your mums passing. She is at peace and pain free now. 

I hope you can find some peace and rest after what you have been through over the past few weeks. We are here for you if you need a safe place to talk.

Selena (Essjay) xx

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Nov 12, 2019 2:47 pm

Deb1313‍ 

When I read your post last night, I was speechless.

My heartfelt condolences. Not the outcome I was hoping for. But not unexpected either.

As others have said, we are here for you when you need to grieve.

Angus

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by CaregiverCAL on Nov 12, 2019 5:44 pm

My heart broke when I read your news.  You have a good community here - reach out as we are here when you need us. Catherine
 

Re: Palliative Questions stage 4 NSCLC

Posted by Rayline on Nov 12, 2019 10:26 pm

Deb1313, I am sorry for you. It is so hard to lose a mother. Take good care of yourself.