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Grieving

Grieving

Posted by Wisewood on Jan 20, 2019 3:11 am

My husband of 55 years died November 24th 2018 From lung cancer- it just still feels really like it just happened and I am so sad We had fought this cancer together for 13 months- such a busy year radiation chemo different drugs -scans -x rays- 3 oncologists -I was with him when he died in hospice-but it still seems so unreal Is this how it is?
Babs

Re: Grieving

Posted by ACH2015 on Jan 20, 2019 2:44 pm

Wisewood‍ 

Your husbands death is still very fresh in your mind. The 55 years you shared cannot be simply erased, nor should they be. Grieving is a process we all get through in our own way and in our own time.

The link below is from the Canadian Cancer Society. It talks about Advanced Cancer. There is an important section that may help you during the grieving process.Section 3 is dedicated to Caregivers. It starts on page 76. Look through this section for some coping strategies and tools to assist you.

My father died in Dec. 2016. I found a grief support group for my mother, and when she was ready several months later she attended the sessions. It can be helpful to be among others in your situation, that understand what you are going through. 

http://www.cancer.ca/~/media/cancer.ca/CW/publications/Advanced%20cancer/Advanced-cancer-EN.pdf

The link below is from the Coping With Grief Group on this site. To join, from the main page click on Groups, select Coping With Grief, then select Join Group. 

https://cancerconnection.ca/groups/home/82

The hospital where your husband was treated has resources for you as well. You can speak to one of the social workers and ask about local support groups that may be in or close to the hospital. The funeral home that held your husbands service, and the hospice also have resources available to you to offer support for the surviving family members.

You're not alone in your feelings. I hope these resources help you adjust and cope as best you can.

Keep well

ACH2015 - Andy.

 

Re: Grieving

Posted by WesT on Jan 21, 2019 9:29 am

Wisewood‍ sorry to hear of your loss.

Andy, ACH2015‍ 's, post is a good one for helping find support you need and hopefully help you through this time in your life.

Again, I am truly sorry and I hope you can find the strength to get through this.

Re: Grieving

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jan 22, 2019 10:21 am

Wisewood‍  Strange that I see this post this morning. I am grieving the death of my wife from pancreatic cancer in late November. At the same time I'm being treated for lung cancer. I think it was the 13 months that triggered me.

Life seems so short and there seems so much that didn't get done or said in the moment (18 years) that we had together. Still letter writing and talking to others about my missing partner are important tools in my grief. Finding a grief support group has been a wee bit of a challenge. There may be a nearby one starting  in March but ACH2015‍  has spurred me to explore some other avenues. Thanks for that.

And WesT‍ thanks for the reminder that there is a loss and that often simple words just letting you know that others are listening is important.

Angus

Re: Grieving

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Jan 22, 2019 10:27 am

Wisewood‍ and WestCoastSailor‍ I hope you two can connect and support each other.

Re: Grieving

Posted by WesT on Jan 22, 2019 1:21 pm

WestCoastSailor‍ Unfortunately I don't get a chance to read through all the post in all of the forums here....  But when I do read threads where someone is obviously at a loss or in pain, it pains me as well.  Sometimes I don' know how to react or what to say but sometimes just saying sorry can go a long way.

That being said, I am sorry to hear of your loss while you are having to deal with your own troubles.  Maybe ACH2015‍'s , Andy's post with the grief groups will be helpful to you as well.  Or as Lacey_adminCCS‍ suggested, you and Wisewood‍ can help support each other.

Again sorry!

Re: Grieving

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jan 23, 2019 11:54 pm

WesT‍ 

I know how that goes. I miss posts all the time. Harder to keep track of than the local coffee shop gossip.

But here is a fuller version of the story - https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewtopic/40/60294?post_id=286265#p286265

And thank you.

Angus

Re: Grieving

Posted by WesT on Jan 24, 2019 11:23 am

WestCoastSailor‍ Angus that post brought tears to my eyes!  You are so much stronger than I could have been in a similar situation.... all while dealing with your own issues.

Thanks for sharing that with me (and anyone else that comes across it).

Re: Grieving

Posted by Brighty on Jan 24, 2019 12:07 pm

WestCoastSailor‍  you are just an incredible human being.    So brave and so so strong!   

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