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Posted by StLove on Jan 7, 2019 3:59 am

Hi there..... 
My name's Julia.
My parents were diagnosed with cancer around the same time*. My father had lymphoma and passed away in Aug. While my mother was still recovering from her double mastectomy. 
She is now going through chemo. 
It's been hard and I haven't been coping well. I'm 21 and have a younger sister. 
I've tried talking to others....or seeing a therapist. But I really would love to connect with people who have been or are going through similar situations. 

​​​​*only after my father's passing we found out he knew 5 years prior

I have lots of questions.... though I'm not to sure if I should write them all here in here? 

Re: Hi

Posted by Elizabeth06 on Jan 7, 2019 9:36 am

Hello StLove‍ 
welcome to Cancerconnections.  I am so sorry to hear about your fathers passing and your mother’s ongoing treatment for breast cancer.  You have a lot on your plate, let alone the grief you must be still dealing with.
on the site, under groups, there is a forum for caregivers.  You can read the existing threads and join in or begin a new topic.  
I will tag Brighty‍ and Aly‍ who have been caregivers and can speak to your feelings right now.
i am a cancer patient and know that this diagnosis impacts all family members.  It was difficult to tell my children, even though they are adults.  It seemed wrong to tell them something that would cause them pain, but, I did and continue to keep them informed.  Maybe your dad had some of these feelings, as parents we want to protect.
you are doing the right thing, in realizing you need help and reaching out.  You need to look after yourself, developed a self care routine.  
Browse this site and you will find the right spot for your questions.  Keep them coming.
you will find support and knowledge here.  You are not alone.

Re: Hi

Posted by ACH2015 on Jan 7, 2019 9:38 am


Hi Julia,

I am tagging Aly‍ into this post. Aly can offer personal experience and suggestions in helping you and your sister cope and help your mother during and after her cancer treatments.

Its good to hear that you have been talking with others and have set up appointments with a therapist. Those are great tools, and so is this site - because there is lots of knowledge, support and understanding here.

The link below is from the Canadian Cancer Society. It talks about coping when you have cancer. It is good information and can lend insight into some of the challenges your mother is dealing with, while offering coping strategies to help.


This link is for you and your sister, and anyone else acting in the role of caregiver. Its not just about your mother, its about helping you and your sister cope with what has been put in front of you as a care giver.


We will all read or be told about or suggested to do many things to get through the cancer experience. Some tools work better for us than others, and its important to simply do what you find works for you in all facets of being both a daughter and now a care giver.

The link below is from the Caring For Someone With Cancer discussions on this site. To access it from the main page, click on Forums, then choose the Caring For someone With Cancer. You will find several posts there to help answer or ask questions you have.


Keep well and keep us up to date with how you, your sister and mother are doing.

ACH2015 - Andy.

Re: Hi

Posted by Aly on Jan 7, 2019 8:40 pm

Hi StLove‍ , welcome to Cancer Connection. I'm glad you found this site, there are many people here who have been in similar situations that your sister and yourself are now going through.

My name is Aly, last January I lost my mother to lymphoma; I was 26 at the time.

Losing someone you love is a difficult thing to go through, let alone finding out your mother is ill as well.

Do you mind if I ask what province you reside in? I may be able to suggest some groups that may be able to help in coping. If you would rather chat online, that's fine too and I'm here!

List your questions, we'll do our best to answer!

Re: Hi

Posted by Brighty on Jan 7, 2019 9:35 pm

StLove‍  I read your post and my heart goes out to you.      This is a very difficult and gut-wrenching situation.   I hope you are getting a lot of support.      We are all here to support you so don't hesitate  to log on here any time and one of our fabulous members will get back to you.