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serous uterine cancer

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 20, 2019 1:40 am

Hi All,  Today was one week since my mother passed, and a month since my sister passed.  I have had dreams about each of them.  My sister came to me, and she was young (maybe 25) and said "hi there"--she put her hands on my shoulders and smiled.  I had forgotten that she had done that to me many times before-sneaking up behind me.  She looked so happy and healthy in the dream.  As for my mother, in my dreams, she is reticent to approach me...she seems more just to be observing me and my life, kind of like from a new vantage point.  I am still trying to get on my feet--feel like I'm sliding across black ice--but I'm allowing the sadness to come over me, each time knowing that I will be okay.  Blessing to all. Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 26, 2019 10:01 am

Hi All, It's been a lot of ups and downs in the last couple of weeks.  I mentioned at one point that my brother passed a few years ago.  I told his two children that I would treat them to a round trip ticket to visit me.  When my sister passed, I extended the same invitation to her five children.  Well, my brothers daughter and my sister's daughter Are taking a trip together to come and see me on March 15!  I am very excited but also a bit nervous.  The last time my sister visited, she came with four of the five kids and we had a wonderful time.  I worry a little about what memories may come up for my sister's daughter and hope it won't be too difficult.  My reasoning in giving the kids a free trip is to continue to show them love and support, even though they both lost a parent at a relatively young age, and to let them know they are never alone.  I will take them hiking, cook for them, and relax by the fire. I imagine this will be a mostly happy time, but I know we are all grieving pretty hard so I am sure that will show too.  Thanks and blessing to all.  Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Brighty on Feb 26, 2019 11:26 am

sher‍  thank you for continuing  to keep us updated.   I think you are a wonderful  aunt.  I hope  you have an incredible  time with your niece and nephew  and share your stories and happy memories with each  other!!!!  

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 26, 2019 11:38 am

Thank you, Brighty!  That is so kind of you!  I am just winging this...I don't know how to navigate these waters but i just know it's especially important that I honour my brother and sister by helping to "raise" their children in any way I can.  I like to imagine that my brother and sister will be with us on that weekend enjoying the party:) Blessings, Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Ttjia on Feb 26, 2019 4:05 pm

Sher what a wonderful  thing you are doing for your nieces and nephews, to show them how much you love and care for them is just something I will all associate with you a more  compassionate person I don't think you could find, things have to be overwhelming for you and your family and this reaching out to the kids is the perfect thing to do, yes it will bring the memories close but that is okay they can have their sad times but the can also have their new happy memories with a  kind and caring Aunt. Have the best time with your family, with you always Charlotte.🌺 
Ttjia

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 26, 2019 11:13 pm

Thank you, Charlotte—this is all just too hard but I promised my sister that I would look out for her kids and I do love them and love my sister.  I can’t imagine being so young without my mother. I don’t want them to feel alone any more than they do.  My brother was a wonderful father and I know what it would mean to
him to love my niece and to honor my brother in this way.  I’ve  been thinking about my ongoing relationship with my siblings who’ve died.  I Believe love continues to grow but how does one grow a relationship with the deceased?  I think that I do that by giving love to my brother and sister by loving their children.
In the end, does anything really matter but how much love we shared?  I know that sounds cheesy, but in those final conversations with my sister, which I didn’t get with my brother, she kept saying “nothing matters but the love”.  I really believe her. Blessings, Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Ttjia on Feb 27, 2019 1:56 am

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Sher Not cheesy love and love for family to me that is all it is about there are so many hateful things going on in this world I can never understand hating everyone that does not believe the same thing as they do or thinking just because someones skin colour is different they are somehow inferior to you it just skin colour or their eyes are shaped differently who cares we are all he same under the skin, so love your fellow man and most of all love and Cherish your family as you are doing. There is nothing more important than that, in my opinion anyway. With you always Charlotte.🌺 
Ttjia

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Brighty on Feb 27, 2019 7:10 am

sher‍  there is nothing cheesy about what you said.    The way to keep your relationship  with  the deceased  going  is to be with  the family who is still here.  I'm doing the same thing.     I continue to keep in touch with my fiance's daughter  and dad and that's how I keep his memory alive.      I know that would have made him happy.   

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 27, 2019 10:20 pm

Thanks so much Charlotte and Brighty.  Brighty it makes me feel somehow less alone that you are thinking about your fiance and honoring the memory of him!  Charlotte- thanks for your unending support for me.  I feel the presence of my sister, in particular, often.  I can't seem yet to feel my Mom too much--I don't know its all so connected.  But, thanks to you both for offering support, and for everyone who reads this for just letting me speak out to each of you.  I so appreciate the support.  Blessings, Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Brighty on Feb 28, 2019 7:17 am

sher‍  you are definitely  not alone.    I'm glad that you are continuing  to share with us.    People  have said to me that it's weird  that I still hang out with my fiance's family since he passed in june.  That actually  makes me upset when people  say that .        But I loved him a lot and they would have been my family  if things went the way they should have.     So why not still spend time with them?   We all went through  hell together.   If one good thing can come out of his passing it's thst it brought everyone  closer.    So I'm glad you are maintaining  a close relationship  with  your niece and nephew.    

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 28, 2019 10:01 am

Hi Brighty, I totally understand your situation.  My sister was with her partner for years and he is devastated.  He has very little family and was very involved in our family.  Myself and another sister have continued to embrace him and keep in close as he isn't sure how to navigate these waters either.  I think each situation is unique and I applaud you for doing what feels right to you!  Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Brighty on Feb 28, 2019 10:02 pm

sher‍  hi again.      I also applaud you for continuing to embrace your brother in law.    I wanted to let you know that we have a group in the forum called "Coping with Grief."     If you go to the top of the page and click on "groups" you will find it.         This group consists of members who share their grief  stories and feelings and ways they cope with their situations.   I would like to invite you to join us and meet other members in this forum and share with us.     Hope you will find it helpful.      Looking forward to having you join us.   

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by sher on Feb 28, 2019 10:27 pm

Hi all,  This will be my last post on this website so I am writing with both a heartfelt thank you and a sincere apology.  As many of you know, my sister was diagnosed with serous uterine cancer in July, and lost that battle on January 18, 2019.  It was a devastating and desperate time for us, as my sister suffered horribly.  When I first posted in September, we were in the throws of the diagnosis, and in heavily researching, I ran across this web site.  I am not on social media and I have never reached out to strangers in any capacity to get support.  I have been the person in everyone's life that they turn to for support so this was totally new and vulnerable for me.  The support was one of the most kind things I have ever experienced in my life.  I will be forever grateful to all of you who reached out or read my posts and allowed for me to share my feelings and ask questions.  While I will never be able to thank you, do know that my prayers will be with and for you always.

Now for the apology.  I found out today that my being on this website and posting my feelings has not been welcome by everyone.  As one can see from my posts, I was very tentative to share by thoughts and feelings at such a vulnerable time in my life.  I feel terrible about making anyone feel uncomfortable by sharing my story.  Even worse, to know that I may have taken support away from someone else  is a horrible feeling, as I know it is true that there are many people who need more support than I do.  I live my life by "do no harm" and so to anyone that I have offended by being on this site or posting irrelevant material, I truly apologize.  Please know that I never intended harm or to put someone's needs over mine.

I send a message of love and gratitude to each of you for all the support I've received and I wish you the best of everything on your life journey.  Blessing Sher

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Ttjia on Feb 28, 2019 10:32 pm

Sher I am so so sorry for what has happened to you on this site I find it very hard to believe I have shared your journey and your pain I am sorry I just can't believe this will try to get in touch with your email with you always Charlotte.🌺 
Ttjia

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Brighty on Feb 28, 2019 10:40 pm

sher‍  no one on this site has tbe right to make you or anyone else feel unwelcome.    Your pain and what you went through  is just as valid as anyone elses  on here.    We are all here to welcome and support  each other.   Every single person on here matters and ever person deserves to be listened to and treated with respect.    If someone  does not like your post they are not required  to read it.    I'm so sorry for what happened  to you.  Please don't go.    We would still like to give you the support you deserve.    

Re: serous uterine cancer

Posted by Ttjia on Feb 28, 2019 11:00 pm

Sher please listen to Brightly you are welcome on this site please email me I do not want to loose touch I would miss our talks you are a very special caring person and  you did not need to be hurt this way. I just don't understand this as Brightly says you are more than welcome on this site your suffering is as real and as painful as anyone here. I can't make this better either I just feel so bad. Thank you for the private message I am having trouble with posting on private. I have to get in touch with Lacey to update I did not do it and am having trouble technology is not my friend. Sent email. With you always Charlotte.🌺 
Ttjia

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