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How to select a hospice facility
Inata
3 Posts

Hello. My husband's condition has taken a turn for the worse. He is currently in the hospital, and his doctor mentioned that once his condition becomes more stable he may be able to move to hospice. I'm curious to learn about people's experiences with hospice care. In my area there are several hospices which seem to range from being more homey to being more clinical. Any suggestions/tips/advice on what to look for would be greatly appreciated.

11 Replies
RBION
187 Posts

Hi @Inata and welcome to the site. Sorry to hear that you and your husband are at the point where decisions on hospice are necessary.

My daughter is an RN and works in both the hospital setting and at a hospice part time. I asked for her insight related to your question and here are a few comments worth sharing.

Hospices share a similar mentality in their approach to end of life care whether the environment is more clinical feeling vs a homey feeling. For the hospice, it’s about celebrating the individual’s life and keeping the person comfortable as a number one priority. That includes pain management for example or helping with agitation should the individual suffer from that. Maybe they just need someone to talk to. It’s all about comfort measures.

In her opinion, if you want to be cherished as a person, go somewhere homey. This is where you’ll spend your last moments of life so consider if you want to be in a more clinical setting or in an environment that has more of a home feel. Whichever choice you make, there will always be nurses and competent care around for your loved one.

When deciding the right fit, the family needs to consider the questions “What do you want at the end of life? What environment do you want to be in /surrounded by? “

I hope this gives you something to consider when making the decision ahead. Wishing you the best in these difficult times.

Rbion

JustJan
1903 Posts

@Inata welcome to the community although I am sorry to hear about your husband’s deteriorating health. There is a website call Canadian Virtual Hospice which may help guide you through the process. It can be found at this link: https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home.aspx

I hope you will find a place that will help support both you and your husband.

JenG
257 Posts

Hi @Inata,

Virtual Hospice is an excellent site. I agree with @JustJan.

We we’re going to take Mom to hospice once she became bedridden; that was always the plan. When that happened, Covid reared it’s ugly head and made things challenging and we decided to keep her at home.

Reasons (for us) to have her die at home were:

-room for both my brother and I to stay with her and spell each other off.
-The fridge was down the hall and it was cheaper to eat at home rather than in a cafeteria.

Inata
3 Posts
Thanks everyone for your input. JenG‍ , I can totally see how you came to the decision to keep your mom at home. For me, hospice is the preferred solution because I have no medical experience and my husband is now on fentanyl, has a Tenckhoff drain, and an ng tube. Plus things are definitely more under control now pandemic-wise. I ended up selecting Dulcina Hospice primarily because it's a newer facility, it's close to home, and friends and family can visit. My husband was transferred there a couple of days ago and so far the care has been excellent. We've brought some artwork and family photos from home to make his room more homey.
JustJan
1903 Posts
Inata‍ I’m glad you found a facility that you are happy with. I wish you and your family peace over the coming days.
Trillium
2312 Posts

Hello @Inata

Glad you found us here and posted to connect with us. There are many others who come through here in a similar situation needing hospice support and I can say that we were very grateful for the hospice service provided to our family!

My children’s father was in hospice for over a year which is an unusual occurrence so we were ever so grateful. I would highly recommend hospice and agree that they all operate under the same philosophy of care. I have had other great experiences with hospice for the good death that the people I cared about experienced.

How are you holding up through all of this?

Warm hugs

Trillium

JenG
257 Posts

@Inata got it. Sounds like a lot to try and manage at home. So glad you’ve got a good place for him. Take care of yourself. It must be a very difficult time for your family.
hugs,

jen

JenG
257 Posts

Also I see my original post was cut off. I will just add that hospice would’ve allowed me to be a daughter and not a caregiver and that would’ve been nice.

Inata
3 Posts

Thanks @Trillium . I'm doing okay. I am taking things day by day and try to celebrate the good things, like when he smiles. Friends and family have been visiting and sharing memories, and it's been nice to see him share in that. We've only been together for ten years, so there are a lot of stories coming out that are new to me or that I've only heard from his perspective.

Trillium
2312 Posts

@Inata - the hospice staff can answer all of your questions and provide resources for you too. I found the book, Final Gifts https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/56464.Final_Gifts - lent to us by the hospice counsellor, to be very helpful for me.

@JenG
I will just add that hospice would’ve allowed me to be a daughter and not a caregiver and that would’ve been nice.

This is such a powerful statement and definitely a huge consideration. Thank you for sharing that perspective.

Lianne

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