+ Reply
Log in or Register to participate in these discussions
6 months….
Kc1972
9 Posts
It’s been a long year…received my stage 1 cervical cancer diagnosis last Christmas. A hard 8 months of treatment got rid of the cervical cancer but unfortunately it was already in my lungs. Tried a phase 1 clinical trial of immunotherapy 2 cycles but tumors have grown, doubled in size since last ct in November. Clinical trial dr said “your cancer is very rare (high grade large cell neuroendocrine) there’s no other standard of care chemo and I have no clinical trials for you. Spend the time you have left with a good quality of life with your family” of course I asked how much time is that? …6 months give it take a few…I couldn’t breathe…not because the lung cancer but because of what I had just heard… being told this already??? I’m not done fighting! I feel ok, I have stuff to do on this planet!!! In full panic I went downstairs to the 5th floor gyne clinic to try & see my primary dr, ( PMCC)… nurse said she would see me…I waited…I cried…I hyperventilated…my sister came & we waited to see my dr. My dr had read email from dr “6 months” and looked for another clinical trial, she found one, brand new drug, never been given to humans…targeted therapy! Met with trial nurse, very lovely person, she said take that 6 months out of your head, just forget that! I’m trying. I have stuff to do! I need to make sure my sick cat is ok, I need to make sure my kitten is comfortable with my sister and her family, I have yoga & walks I need to go, I have 1 semester left, consolidation for my RN and I want to see a UFO!!! I’m not ready to die yet, I’m ready to live. I pray this clinical trial will accept me, I pray I won’t need to do another biopsy and have another pneumothorax, I pray my PEs don’t come back….I pray this will work…I just need some more time…I pray I see my 50th birthday…I pray to see my nephews marry…I pray for so many things. This all seems like a bad dream, I pinch myself but can’t wake up..I can’t sleep and when I do I wake up crying….so many thoughts and feelings racing in my head…how do I deal with this?
4 Replies
ACH2015
2301 Posts

@Kc1972 Well done on advocating for yourself. You are actually doing better than you think. You are moving forward, you are sharing your feelings and fears and helping yourself to make sense of your situation. I too went through a clinical trial for immunotherapy that failed. A 4th surgery was successful (so far) in removing a recurrent cancer. I understand how difficult it is to wake up everyday not knowing the future. I've got unknown primary cancer, so I can never say I am cured, because that is not how it works. Understanding your situation and seeking options is something you are doing well. I learned a long time ago the value of a “Plan B” in my back pocket, and that is the value in a second opinion. That's why I am still here - 5 years later.

I send you positive prayers and thoughts for the trial @Kc1972

Keep moving forward and do your best to live while you await information.

ACH2015

Sadie12
174 Posts

Hello @Kc1972

Your fire! Your spirit! Keep doing that.

I always said that I would never let a doctor tell me how long I had left. Doctors are very intelligent, but they've been proven wrong.

I love that you are doing yoga and walks. I love that you are connected to people and cats that you love. I love that you are praying. I am a huge believer in the mind\body connection.

These things are incredibly important to sustaining your life, along with your health care advice.

This is all, of course, easy for me to say, as I am not in your position. You have a lot to take in, emotionally. Do you have a supportive care contact at your cancer centre?

Keep sharing here and we will be with you.

Sadie12

Dave58
424 Posts

@Kc1972 WOW WOW WOW !!! What I just read was : Full speed ahead and get the whiners below decks ! No matter what never lose that fighting spirit !

All those things you want to do ? Go do them. I was told by my oncologist was to celebrate Christmas early. We had Christmas day actually the day after on Sunday as we had to wait for some family to get here. My birthday is in a few weeks and I plan on birthday cards and an ice cream cake from DQ.

So go live ! Sounds like you have support and that is awesome to have. Also we want pictures of your 50th 😁

Kc1972
9 Posts
Thank you Dave! I kick myself for not standing up to the dr and saying “ I refuse your diagnosis” ! I keep shouting it at the universe, then waves of fear take over….I’m just going to keep riding these waves and shouting at each one! I will be posting birthday pics❤️
+ Reply