My mom will have her appointment today to receive the results of her biopsy and I’m terrified of knowing what it will be. I’ve been sleeping really bad these last few days (nightmares, insomnia, etc) and having a lot of anxious and intrusive thoughts about worst case scenarios. Like, what do I do if they tell me she only has a few months left? What if I don’t make it in time to see her again (leftover trauma from missing a last meeting with my grandmother before she died)? Etc. I managed to hold it together at work today because this is the busiest season and I have basically no time to think about other stuff than my tasks, but I’m on my way home and now all the emotions are hitting hard. Most of my close friends recently left Japan, the ones still in Canada are sleeping / busy with work, and my appointment with my therapist had to be rescheduled because of a schedule conflict.
So, yeah. Thank you so much to this community for existing because I feel like writing this post is pretty much the only reason I’m not falling apart this instant.
@beehime im glad that you have this community and that you feel the outpouring of support . Just know that whatever the results will be, we will continue to be by your side through it all. Waiting is terrifying for sure but you aren't alone. Let us know how it goes. Thinking of you.