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Terrified
Mia2429
4 Posts

I am waiting on the phone call from my doctor with biopsy results. I know it is going to be bad news because they were already talking about a plan. I am absolutely terrified and feel like I can't handle this. I am having constant anxiety attacks even though I have taken meds for this but unless I take enough to put me to sleep I have to suffer every second physically and mentally. I honestly don't know how to handle this. I'm finding it extremely hard to keep it together around my family because they will be absolutely devastated which in turn will make it harder all around.

23 Replies
Runner Girl
2144 Posts

Hello @Mia2429

Take a deep breath.

Ok, better?

I am sorry you are in the position of having to wait for the confirmation of what you already suspect to be true. But, once confirmed and things get rolling the most important thing, if it is indeed cancer, is to either have surgery to remove it or begin treatment to kill it.

I know how scary it is. My lumps were found at the end of March 2018. By May 7th I had confirmation of breast cancer and that's when things took off. I met my surgeon on May 15th and had a lumpectomy to remove it on May 23rd. Next came chemo at the end of July - had to heal from surgery first. Radiation happened in December and January. Then it was on to Tamoxifen for 2 years. I've just been switched to Anastrozole and have just passed 3 years since my May 7th diagnosis.

We will be here to walk with you as you go thru your treatment and see you come out the other side.

Runner Girl

ACH2015
2147 Posts

Hi @Mia2429

It is very difficult to be waiting for confirmation of a diagnosis, and our minds generally go to the worst case scenario unfortunately.

Family and friends - be honest with them and share your concerns. We do tend to isolate ourselves in not wanting to get our friends and family upset. But we need our friends and family to support and help us through these things - even when we are waiting for results.

One thing a social worker shared with me and my wife during my tests etc.. was to make sure to empty your emotional bucket regularly. Never good to keep in what we need to release.

Good for you for connecting here. You aren't alone in your cocerns and emotions. We have all been through or are going through the same things - so I hope this offers you some comfort.

Keep well and keep in touch.

ACH2015

Whitelilies
1476 Posts

@Mia2429 Hi Mia…..I do understand…that waiting (for any test/result/appt) is difficult…..

So, since you have to wait…..perhaps make “this time”, work in your favour! Use this “open time” for positive things….organize your closet; put away summer clothes/clean them first/fill the freezer with your fave meals/stock up on canned goods for your pantry/ vacuum the car floor mats/ clean the vegetable drawer in the fridge! So….not an exciting list….but it will keep your mind (and body) very busy…and there will be NO time “to think”……Perhaps treat yourself, to a pretty new blouse…a new lipstick….a new hand lotion with scent!

Lean On Us.

Warmly,

Whitelilies

Boby1511
595 Posts

@Mia2429

hi there.

this is hard the waiting. But try to stay busy. Give yourself a break. You need more information right now and unfortunately we must all wait. I too am waiting to the end of the month for my pathology report. I try to put it out of my mind. I can’t change the results.

hugs to you

Whitelilies
1476 Posts

@Mia2429 Hi Mia….please know….that I too, felt terrified, especially in the early days….whenever I got a call ie from my Oncologist….I would start crying…and say to him “I am scared of you !”…..But; hey, I got those emotions out…..so, to me….being “terrified” is “pretty normal!”

Lean On Us!

Whitelilies

#waiting

Mia2429
4 Posts

I updated this message but it disappeared. Found out today the biopsy came back as cancer. Waiting for phone call with the details and what to do. Absolutely devastated.

Whitelilies
1476 Posts
Mia2429‍ Hi Mia......it is so difficult .....yes......"park those thoughts!"......and be ready for the phone call from Surgeron. Get paper and pen near the phone....get questions ready.....for example; If Dr says.....next week your need a test; You can ask, Will they call me? Who arranges the test? Just ask, get clarity, and feel a bit more in control....
Lean On Us.
Whitelilies
Runner Girl
2144 Posts

@Mia2429

I am so sorry that it has been confirmed to be cancer. Completely understand your devastation, but don't wallow there too long. Let's get on with getting it taken care of. I'm going to provide you with a long list of questions, pick and choose which ones work best for you.

Here is a list of questions for your surgeon:
• Am I a candidate for a lumpectomy?
• Do I need a mastectomy? Is reconstruction (plastic surgery) an option for me? What are the advantages and disadvantages? Is it possible to avoid removing my nipple and areola?
• Do the lymph nodes in my underarm need to be removed?
• What is a sentinel lymph node biopsy? What are the benefits and risks? Would you recommend it for me?
• What is the risk of lymphedema with a sentinel lymph node biopsy? With axillary lymph node dissection?
• What is the benefit of having more lymph nodes removed?
• What are the side effects of these procedures? Can they be prevented or minimized?
• Should I consider chemotherapy before surgery?
• Will I need radiation therapy after surgery? Does this affect my reconstruction options?
• When do I need to make a decision about surgery?
• What should I do to get ready for the operation? Do you have recommendations on how to help me relax before surgery?
• What medications and supplements should I stop taking? Should I stop taking hormone replacement therapy? What about birth control pills?
• Will you describe exactly what you will do during this operation, and why?
• Will my tumor be saved? Where will it be stored? For how long? How can it be accessed in the future?
• What are the potential risks and side effects of this operation? What can be done to ease side effects following surgery?
• Does the hospital offer programs that help aid healing?
• What can I expect regarding the operation?
• Will I need to be admitted to a hospital for this operation? If so, how long will I stay in the hospital?
• How long will my surgery take?
• What type of anesthesia will I need for this operation?
• How long do I have to wait for my preoperative test results? Do I call you, or does your office call me?
• Will a pathologist examine the tissue and write a report? Who will explain that report to me?
• What are the possible complications for this type of surgery? How would I know if there is a problem?
• How long will it take me to recover after the surgery?
• When can I return to work and other daily activities?
• Will I have stitches, staples, and/or bandages?
• Will there be permanent effects from the surgery?
• Where will the scar be, and what will it look like?
• What type of clothes should I bring to go home in? Will I need a special type of bra?
• Are there instructions or post-operative care pamphlets I can take home with me? When can I shower or bathe?
• Will I need to have surgical drains? What does this mean? How long will the surgical drains be in?
• Do I need a nurse to visit my home after surgery? How is this arranged?
• When will I need to return for a follow-up appointment?
• Will I need help at home after the surgery?
• What kind of pain will I be in afterwards? Can you help me manage my pain?
• When should I call your office if I experience any side effects?

Here is a list of questions you might want to take with when you get your results from the surgeon:
• Is there enough information to recommend a treatment plan for me? If not, which tests or procedures will be needed? Will I need to see other doctors?
• What are my treatment plan options?
• What treatment plan do you recommend? Why?
• When do I need to make a treatment decision?
• Who will be part of my health care team, and what does each member do?
• Who will lead my overall treatment?
• What is the goal of each treatment? Is it to eliminate the cancer, help me feel better, or both?
• What can I do to get ready for treatment?
• If I am worried about managing the costs of cancer care, who can help me? Who can help me understand what aspects of my care are covered by my insurance?
• If I have questions or problems, who should I call?
• Do you communicate with your patients by email or with an electronic health record system?
• If have a strong family history of cancer, what is my chance of getting another cancer? How does that change my treatment options? Should I see a genetic counselor?
• Do you have a social worker I can speak with?
• What should I tell my employer, if anything, and what laws protect my rights as an employee?

Runner Girl

@Mia2429 I am sorry to hear of the confirmation of cancer. I too have heard those words. I was diagnosed with breast cancer with spread to lymphnodes in 2010. I tell you that only to show you someone with 10 years in the rear view mirror. I didn't know any survivors when I was diagnosed and when I did meet some, it was so helpful to calming my mind somewhat - and even more so once the surgery was done. You have a whole community here to keep you company while you go through this.

Hugs to you

Lianne

PS - it looks like your first update may be on your own profile instead of this thread if you are looking for it.

Whitelilies
1476 Posts
Runner Girl‍ Hi....this is the BEST LIST I have ever seen....I will print & keep......
Whitelilies
#BestList
JustJan
1033 Posts

@Mia2429, I am sorry that your fears were confirmed today. @Runner Girl gave you a good list of questions to potentially ask at your appointment. I did find that once I had a plan, the anxiety did lessen to a much more manageable level. I hope you will find that too. Know we are here to listen and support you.

#breast #newdiagnosis

Mia2429
4 Posts

I am still waiting once again for the final report on the biopsy results. They said they were waiting for one final report and I left a message for the doctor to call me with any information that they have so far but I'm realizing by now that the doctor doesn't return my calls which is so upsetting and I feel helpless and forgotten. I am in a really dark place with my thoughts and anxiety and don't know what to do. My GP has been keeping in touch with me but there is really only so much anyone can do. I have medication for the anxiety which helps the physical symptoms but mentally my mind is racing and I can hardly do anything but sit on the couch all day trapped in my thoughts. The thought of what this is going to do to my kids is the worst part because unfortunately they suffer with health issues and anxiety so I know this is going to trigger it all and I am worried sick how they'll handle it. My husband says to try and be positive and fight through it but inside I have already given up and the anxiety is too much to take so I really don't know what to do.

JustJan
1033 Posts

@Mia2429 I am so sorry you are experiencing so much anxiety. When I was first diagnosed, the anxiety was so overwhelming and was honestly the only time in my life when I have felt that way. There may be many reasons the doctor hasn't called you back, but having a complete picture of your specific situation will allow them to be able to create and communicate a treatment plan for you. Partial information can sometimes be worse in trying to settle our minds. The waiting for information can be excruciating. For right now, although I know it is hard - try to breathe. Try not to focus on the information you do not know and keep from telling yourself a story that may be completely inaccurate. If you can, find things to distract yourself. Do not give up before you have even begun the fight!

As always we are here to listen and support you. I am glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with us. Sending you a virtual hug.

elle29
669 Posts

Hi @Mia , You can do this and try to get distracted in something your interest or been wanting to do . One member even took courses in college to get a job right away . Being determined and brave as a single mom . Prove to herself she could over come her brain fog . Anything enojoyable to relax you maybe not so challenging as c discovery process sometimes has its own agenda .

elle29
669 Posts

@Runner Girl either u have a good memory or wrote this down kept track .I think the latter . Soon you will be running again Oct 3 rd for a cure with Who ? !

Brighty
7488 Posts

@elle29 …. @Runner Girl has a fabulous memory! It boggles my mind!!!!!!

JustJan
1033 Posts

@Mia2429 thought I would check in and see how you’re doing?

elle29
669 Posts

@Mia2429 best for what your probably feeling , is being proactive . A Skelton list suggestion .

  • Getting together a day night bag of comfy change of clothes and toiletries ahead . Remind u of being packed like pregnancy readiness . Lol ! Suggest fleece lined comfy clothing and gentle cream Aveno , bc dryness is common going to hospital environments & waiting diagnostic tests , scans etc . Extra plugs for devices and charging wires to pack. Ear buds too . Things get lost and forgotten when focused preoccupied last minute rushing . Be prepared
  • ID card copies .( yes lost or misplaced mine not found yet ) Insurances number copies handy at home easily filed .Or take a pic . (U would not believe what happened to me a week before surgery . ) Rep for car insurer .Best to Have my car towed , cleaned and get a rental that week . ) Stuff happens when many requisitioned bookings , like Surgery & scans , so be prepared . And laugh a little about it .
  • Transportation arrangements and back up , to speak to hubby , even taxi , services
  • List of call numbers ; in booklet as appointments start up of hospital departments or medical places clinics , labs or diagnostics . And with location maps in and to ready hard copied for your hubby or grandparents to look when needed. If your not home .
  • Emergency supplies , flashlights batteries , First Aid kit stocked .
  • A book to read or give with kids any age . And one to look forward cozy with kids for when you come home after appointments, reassured . Or if u allow video games together with you chillaxin . As few of us injured our feet or knees , one found out had it broken a year returning to work . Good reliable shoes for grip and comfort .
  • Supply of foods you like , prebought online delivery or pick up . Some homemade pre - cooked in bulk Ie Lasgna , ready made to keep your nutrition up 2 warm in comfort foods , anything easy with salads . Crock pot meals handy no fuss stews . And snacks treats kids like , some for yourself like those applesauce cups , puddings, fruit cups , popcorn 🍿or apricots , nuts , for movie or sports nites they participate in burning energy .
  • Dental check for loose fillings or tooths . Spécial or gentle Mouthwash for soreness from dehydration , or in treatment later .Members here know better they used .
  • Groupons, to be with friends over dinner out or theatre or spa pampering or live events as school or sports .
  • A stationary exercise machine at home, to refresh energy at home safely . Physio Therapist referral in case of pain or injury .
  • Family home sitters names and numbers .For days no school called Pro D here or PD calendar on frig . reminder . Grandparents aunts or uncles available with overnite arrangements there breakfast supplies they like with kids . With school ,their doctors , dentist numbers hard copy . Because cancer has it own agenda .
  • Include pets vets animal hospital . Animal control in case they run away . Which does happen with lots of commotion in changes or the moods of the moon 🌙 lol.






elle29
669 Posts

That’s an executive / administrator function Runner Girl works and responds quickly ! She must have an umbilical chord to CC / but CCS info changed its format . I preferred the other , lots more factual to refer to reliable .
@Brighty I am back on oral AI treatment but reduced dosage voted advanced . Looking forward to energy back to take a rec program not sure if easy yoga or Tia Chi get me out in a schedule . You got social with family around Thanksgiving comes quick ? How’s back to work with special school kids going ? Love to hear your process of delivery & been away from it retired .

Brighty
7488 Posts

HI @elle29 haha you are hilarious. Unbilical chord to CC! Love it! I hope you do get some energy back and are able to do Tia Chi or Yoga or something else. You will probably feel better and it will help you so much!!! I'm not sure what we are doing for thanksgiving, it seems so far away, yet it's not. Back to work was good for the first 2 weeks. It was the “honeymoon phase”. All the kids were on their best behaviour. Then the true colours started coming out this week! One kid got very aggressive with me yesterday. Caught me off guard. But everything is ok now and I'm ready for another week starting Monday. Friday is my cat Vinnie's birthday . I got his gift already but I'm hiding it until the big day. Have a great evening, Elle 29.!!!

elle29
669 Posts

@Mia2429 There is info on reading ur Pathology Report after biopsy and surgery on CCS but changed in format .

elle29
669 Posts

elle29:

Hi @Mia , You can do this and try to get distracted in something your interest or been wanting to do . One member even took courses in college to get a job right away . Being determined and brave as a single mom . Prove to herself she could over come her brain fog . Anything enojoyable to relax you maybe not so challenging as c discovery process sometimes has its own agenda .

Daisy21
39 Posts

Everyone of us gets scared, the bloody waiting is the worst .I messaged you .Take one hour, one day at a time .We must stay positive. I used to give myself an hour each day to fall apart alone somewhere and cry and then pull myself together and do something I enjoy .Eating fudge cake ,watch a movie ,play with grandkids. We are ALL stronger than we truly realize.

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