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Dr thinks I have lymphoma.
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Not sure how to feel. I am a RN and still going to work full time. I have 2 children one 4 and one 2, I am putting a smile on my face at work and trying to be present with my patients. As soon as I get into my vehicle I cry.

I went for a CT lumbar spine for back pain that had become more disabling. The CT didn’t show a herniated disk like I thought it would. It showed a lesion in my L4 spine. I also have two little lumps next to each other in my right side of my neck I’m pretty sure that those are swollen lymph nodes. I also have a very congested right ear. I have only had one cold sore in my life and I feel another one trying to pop up. The ear pain is recent. Neck I noticed not long ago.

I am to go for a lymphoma CT work up and a MRI which I’m not sure I can have since I have metal rods in my back. I am on google a good portion of the day, the worst thing I could prob do right now. I guess I am wanting to know if these symptoms sound familiar so I can prepare myself a bit for these tests. I am trying to not withdrawal, and still engage with my friends and family but it is getting hard. Everyone from my patients to my children always need something from me and I just have so much anxiety. I might break soon :( trying to stay positive, but how much longer can I do this.
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2007 Posts

Hi @Keighsw As a medical professional yourself, you know the benefits of support and sharing as a patient. That's one of the things we as patients hear from our doctors and nurses all the time. You say you are still trying to engage with your family and friends. My suggestion to you is to share your concerns with those you trust and can open up to. Keeping this bottled up daily is not good, and you need to find a confidant to release some of that pressure building within. Medical professionals make lousy patients - because they are used to giving assistance and providing services and support to their patients. You have concerns, you need support, reach out, relieve and release some of that pressure. As well, do you have access to mental health therapists where you work - or though your benefits? Your concerns are valid, normal and you need to have a means to release and empty your emotional bucket. Posting here as well will help - because we have been there and understand. I know full well the damage we can do to ourselves by not opening up and realizing we need and deserve the same supports we offer others in our professional lives. I open up frequently now, and I encourage you to do the same.

Hope this helps.


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