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How do I keep it together?
Hi everyone,

Today is my husband's birthday, and tomorrow he has a PET scan to confirm the doctors suspicion that he has cancer. Lesions were found on his lungs and his thymus is enlarged. We have four young kids, he's only 35. I'm currently hiding in my bathroom trying to gather myself before serving his birthday cake. How do I keep it together for his sake and the sake of our children? I'm terrified.

Worried wife
2 Replies
Trillium
829 Posts
Hello Worriedwife‍ - So sorry you have found yourself here and are feeling terrified. The best thing you can do right now is to talk to us here. It is very hard to do but try not to go to the darkest places. Cancer can be very treatable these days. Save your worry and energy for when you get the facts of what it is you are actually dealing with. Easier said than done - I remember it well. Come back and talk to us here whenever you like. We are here for you. Talk to a close friend or family member about what’s going on too and it might be a good idea to take breaks just for you over the next few days. This self care guide is an important tool to keep handy.
https://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/living-with-cancer/caregiving/taking-care-of-yourself/?region=on

Hugs
Trillium
ACH2015
1903 Posts
Worriedwife

There is a balance needed for yourself here. We all need to hold it together for practical reasons,but we also need to express ourselves to each other, be honest and allow some of that internal pressure out to keep ourselves safe. As both a cancer survivor myself, and a caregiver to my father that had brain cancer, we can't be an unbending tree that takes on all that is difficult without sharing our emotions, our fears, our need to vent,for what concerns and upsets us. Sharing is the balance we all need to find, so I hope you find the balance to support, and share and be understood within your family unit. I did not find that balance, and I am struggling to do so years later. Find your balance - and find your way better than I did.

ACH2015
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