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Posted by Stumped on Nov 4, 2018 5:17 pm

A family member has cancer and people offer to do fundraisers. Twice people have done them without our knowledge. Small ones. Now someone wants to do one again. It would feel more public. And we know in advance this tine. We are unsure how to react. I guess it makes us uncomfortable but well...
Thoughts and experiences appreciated. We are new to this. 

Re: Fundraisers

Posted by ashcon on Nov 5, 2018 1:21 pm

Hi Stumped‍ 

I am sorry to hear of your family member's cancer.  Without knowing more background - like: how old is the family member (child/adult), type of cancer and stage/ prognosis, the person's financial and support network situation, their preference for others knowing about their cancer, etc - it may be hard to provide any insights or recommendations.   
Would you be willing to share more details?

Here's my experience, if it helps: I was 54, professional working woman living on my own when diagnosed with stage III, difficult to treat breast cancer.   
During my treatment, I shared updates with friends, family, and co-workers. As a result, 2 fund-raising activities transpired while I was going through treatment:
  1. My daughter got us a team in the Run for the Cure. Even though it took place just 3 days after a port insertion and round #2 of chemo, I took part in the event.  I was starting to appreciate how important it was for 1) others to offer help & support to me, and 2) for me to learn to accept help & support.  We raised over $6,000 and this sense of accomplishment really helped to diminish the fear and devastation I was feeling.
  2. For about 2 months around Christmas last year, my co-workers did various fundraising activities behind my back (silent auction, gift-wrapping service, etc) for about 2 months. They then surprised me and another co-worker who was also diagnosed with breast cancer with a cheque for about $1,400 each.   Note: I was getting LTD while off work but it was a reduced amount, so this $$ from my co-workers was immensely appreciated.  And I know they enjoyed giving this gift.   I paid off a couple of bills, then used the rest towards a new bicycle which was my 'treat' and my 'treatment' for getting and staying healthy after my treatments finished in April 2018.
"It is in giving that we receive" - St Francis of Assisi

Can you get an understanding of the motivations of the fundraising efforts by those who are doing it?   What does your family member say about them?

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